Written and recorded between 1988 and 1993, the first song on this album (Always alone in-between) was written while I was convalescing back at my parent’s house after getting expelled from high school, dropping out of my first university, living in a car in Hollywood, changing my name and then clearing my mind of what I took to be the voices and ideas of others… only to then find my mind disquietingly empty.
Working part-time at the READY (Recreation Especially Adapted for Disabled Youth) program I had volunteered at while in high school, I was able to save enough money to buy an Alesis HR-16 drum machine (first featured on I’ve got a rock in my shoe).
For part of 1989, I lived in Paris, France (upon return to Los Angeles – writing I look so good in yellow, with its French-inspired “Oh la la la” chorus). I then moved out with a boyfriend to Lawndale, California – where several of the later songs in this album were written (some featuring my first keyboard with a modulation wheel – temporarily loaned to me by my brother Kevin) before I had another mental break-down and returned to my parents’ house.
My mother probably bought the Roland JV-80 keyboard (featured on the final songs of this album) that I begged for to divert me, at least to some extent, from drug use and promiscuous sex in the middle of the still-raging AIDS crisis.
These are not the only songs I wrote, recorded and retained from this time period. They were selected for inclusion in a chronological book (Misguided home) of 64 brief stories (none longer than 2 pages) that sprung from the lyrics of 64 songs that I composed and recorded between 1985 and 2010.